Public Transportation...Of DOOM

Readers worldwide (all 10 of you), I'm here today to inform you about the newest crime wave raging through Aomori and, more specifically, Sannohe. B&E, you ask? No sir. Fraud? Not really, but warmer. GTA? Getting there! The correct answer is: Illegal buses. As the image below clearly demonstrates with the two ferocious looking dinosaurs, black-busing (a term I came up with just now) is not to be taken lightly.



Though at first I was confused, I have hence come to see just what is meant by this and what is wrong with it. Essentially what happened is this: someone decided that he was tired of buses that only run once or twice an hour and are unreliable at best, and went ahead and started his own bus line without consulting the city. The nerve! Using unofficial, gaudy, state-of-the-art buses designed to stand out from the standard red and white wooden models the city uses, this black market public transportation has been deceiving citizens day after day while needlessly getting them to their destinations earlier and offering unsanctioned and preposterous convenience to bus-riders day in and day out. Can you imagine the horror of having your 45 minute wait for the bus cut short without notice and arriving at your destination long before intended? I don't know about you, but it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

But fear not, I have been assured that the authorities have the situation well in hand. To start, they are attempting to raise awareness by advertising for, I mean informing you of the danger of, these other buses with fliers posted in every single bus. They are also working on a method to spot and deal with these felonious cabbies. I understand it's going to be very high tech and require every branch of the local law enforcement to tackle it, but that's more than enough assurance to help me sleep sound at night. 2 bus companies in one town, bah. What's next, a second phone company?

Silver buses with giant pandas on top are a dead giveaway

The Land of the Rising Hangover

There has been some discussion recently among the newly arrived JETs and myself as to why the it's so damn easy to get a hangover in Japan. I myself encountered this phenomenon back in the University days, when I could drink my own weight in vodka and be fine the next morning but if I had even a few (read: 4-5) store bought beers I would feel like a Optimus Prime had parked on my face. At any rate, I decided to solve this mystery once and for all, and now present my findings.

The common rumor is that it is because Japanese beers contain far more starch than the average US brews. It is true that Japanese "beers" contain more starch, among other things. The reason for the "" marks is that one must be careful when using the word "beer" in Japan. In 1994, as a result to a beer tax that was based solely on percentage of malt in a beer, companies began to lower their malt percentage to below 67%, with the remaining 33% including rice, corn, sorghum, potato, starch, and sugar. The result was the now super-popular Happoshu. The Government, realizing that they were missing out on a tons of tax income, quickly levied higher taxes on beverages containing between 50-25% malt. The alcohol giants fired back with even less "beery" beers, even replacing malts altogether with artificially non-malts, that are known as "beer-flavored beverages" or "third generation beer." Leave it to the Japanese, masters of the ancient art of tax evasion, to sabotage the last great real on this sad planet, a good beer, to save a buck or two. Bloody heathens.

Well, it turns out that it's not the starch that's the problem; its all the other crap they've thrown in there. Just as mixing alcohols is likely to increase the urge to punch everything that makes noise the next morning, giving your body tons of extra chemicals to process and elimate is a sure-fire recipe for the hangover to end all hangovers. Taken on it's own, the starch can actually help soften the alcohol's impact. But of course, the Japanese never eat anything starchy when they drink, just edamame and raw fish. Oh and horse heart, they LOVE that. The also force you to chase your beers with an equal amount of shochu (a form of rice or barley whiskey). Come to think of it, that's probably the real problem...

Comparative Analysis

So as you may have noticed the postings here at NTE have dropped off considerably. Due to circumstances beyond my control (and plenty that were within) I have had neither the time nor the ability to post recently. For that I apologize.

After a two week jaunt home to good old Pacific Northwest, I find myself strangely rejuvinated. While dodging the unbearable humidity here I was also able to consume my own weight in REAL beer, eat REAL Mexican food, then eat at Taco Bell, and many other gloriously nostalgic events that I will not waste time here cataloging. As an interesting after effect of this trip, I find myself much more aware of the differences between my two countries of residence and realize that up until now I have been a bit harsh on Japan in my blogging. Well that's all going to change. For one post, at least.

A fairly common question I get asked (aside from size of both body and...other things) is, "Sir, what do you enjoy about Japan?" While there are many, one item stands tall among the rest: Festivals. The US may do a rockin' 4th of July, but when it comes to the actual art of holding a festival, we come up severely lacking. It's hard to say what part of the Japanese condition leads to the innate ability to throw a great festival, but whatever it is they have it in spades. If I had to wager a guess, I would say spirit. I'm not talking God, morals, or any of that mumbojumbo, but rather the spirit of getting into the festival. In Japan festivals are for everyone and occur at every level of society. I recently had the chance to participate in the Nebuta festival. Fellow Portlanders, let me tell you that this thing puts the Rose Festival to shame. There are few things more entertaining that watching a 4 year old girl, a 6'5" white man, and a 75 year old Japanese man standing side by side, jumping and flailing to the beat. It's almost like a mindset; people don't come to watch the festival, they come to celebrate the festival. The best part is, this is true from the biggest regional festivals down to the smallest local ones. Everyone has a role that they play with the utmost duty and enthusiasm.

So Japan, I salute you for a tradition well maintained. In my limited travels I have encountered no place more embracing of what it truly means to celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music, oh yeah. I will say, though, that your festivals would be a whole lot more kickin' if you would import some damn PBR.

Test Mentality in Japan

One of the most common complaints I hear among JETs, particularly those teaching in Junior or High Schools, is that they aren't given any freedom in terms of what they are allowed to teach. It tends to be a do-as-you're-asked sort of affair with us just reading the flashcards and dialogues from the text books ad nauseam. The reason for this, however, is rarely malicious or even negative intent on the part of the Japanese teachers. It is almost exclusively due to the fact that the sole goal of these classes is to get the students ready to pass the entrance exams to the next level of schooling. The textbooks are created using the test guidelines, so anything not covered in them does not warrant covering in class.

This phenomenon of studying for sole purpose of passing a single exam permeates Japanese society. I stumbled onto this realization while cramming for the test to convert my US driver's license into a Japanese one (which I proceeded to fail within the first 45 seconds of the actual exam). The test had almost no bearing on actual driving ability, rather it tested the takers memory (you must memorize the driving course first) and whether or not they properly make the prescribed number of mirror checks during a straight away. Aside from the driver's exam, it can be seen at every level of the education system (junior high, high school, college entrance exams) and even in adult life afterwards. To gain admittance to certain companies one must pass written tests covering subjects like grammar and even economic history of the company in question.

This system, while promoting the positive values of studying for an exam, learning the materials, and in turn reaping the benefits has one fatal flaw: lack of comprehensiveness. By providing an exact set of standards and details of what will be on the test, it enables test-takers to study only what will be on the test and nothing else. The only case in which a system like this is effective is if the subject itself is so specific or so defined that the test can actually cover the entirety of the subject, forcing the student to study and learn not just bits and pieces but the whole breadth of the topic. Otherwise you end up with an incomplete skill set that serves no real purpose other than having enabled you to pass the test.

Take for example Japanese college students who are studying to pass the TOEIC English Exam. As far as my personal experience goes, students who attained high scores have done so by strictly following the regimen put forth by the testing committee, as opposed to going out and actually communicating with native English speakers. I find that I have more fluid and rewarding conversations with people who have never even thought of studying for an English exam like this. The same goes for us Foreigners taking the Japanese Proficiency Exam. At the higher levels the Japanese grammar and Kanji we have to know are practically useless in daily life (unless your daily life was consisted of translating turn of the century law texts). As it is I separate personal Japanese studying into two categories: test oriented almost mathematical memorization of grammar points obtained from study guides, and Japanese I will actually be able to use in conversation that very day learned from comic books and Harry Potter. Does that seem messed up to anyone else?

The Miseducation of Aomori, Japan

Over my brief tenure as a teacher I have had several eye-opening realizations about children and the way they think. Some have been fun, like noticing the small gaps in the younger children's short term memory when, 5 minutes after giving a welcome speech in Japanese, I am accosted by 20 or more of them asking if I know any Japanese words (in Japanese, of course). I also love that, despite the fact that I clearly understand every word the ask, they continue to believe that I can't speak any Japanese.

Some experiences, though, fall on the slightly more disturbing side of the spectrum. One of said moments occurred last week at one of my favorite schools, Sugisawa Primary and Junior High. The entire series of events in more or less irrelevant (I believe the word tora, meaning tiger, came up and from there one of the other teachers asked if I had seen the war film Tora Tora Tora), but it quickly came to light that the children had never heard of Pearl Harbor. In fact, the lot of them actually assumed that it was an island down south near Okinawa, which I guess is partially understandable seeing as how it does have a Japanese name (真珠湾), but I was still rather shocked. I was not alone. The other two teachers in the room pushed the issue, throwing out terms like "Pacific War," but still to no avail. When told that it in Hawaii and was the site of the Japanese sneak attack on the United States which signalled it's entry into the war, their jaws hit the floor. They honestly had no idea that Japan had attacked the US first. About half didn't even know that we were on opposing sides during the war.

Now I'm all about forgive and forget, but this is ridiculous. These kids are in the equivalent of our 8th grade, people! Now not knowing all of the gritty details that age is completely acceptable, but being that oblivious to one of the most important events in the history of BOTH countries is by no means. Though I usually find myself pleased with the overall quality of the primary and secondary education systems here, I am still borderline appalled at this oversight. It makes me wonder if I should be sitting in on the history lessons, not just English. Or maybe I'll just give them all copies of Ben Affleck's magnum opus, Pearl Harbor. I do love Ben Affleck...




Since I do love posting related, or at least semi-related, videos, enjoy this little bit of WWII fun with a bit of a modern twist:

A Candidate You Can Really Get Behind

Living in Japan during election season in America is an interesting thing. To be fair, due to some sort of cosmic coincidence, throughout my time as a legal I have only ever been in Japan during presidential elections so I don't actually know how much different it is in America. I can only hope that it isn't as downright silly as it is here. As the only American the town of Sannohe has EVER hosted, I am treated as some sort of walking political encyclopedia (which in and of itself is a problem, because I had to check Wikipedia just to figure out what the difference between a Caucus and a Primary so that I wasn't lying to everyone I talked to). Among the questions I am most commonly asked are the following:

"Why is this election starting so early, don't they usually start in November?"
"Why is Mrs.Clinton so angry?"
"Will the Iraq War stop once the election is over?"
"Are you going to vote for Obama or Bush?" (my personal favorite)

As a personal rule, I tend to keep my politics to myself. It really is no one's business who I vote for. In fact, I have been known to mess with people who ask me about it by actively taking the completely opposite stance to however they feel, because I feel that's what they get for prying. The Japanese, however, don't seem to understand that there is a degree of personal privacy to all this. Also, they don't really find the whole "I'm going to be an ass and argue with you for fun" shtick very amusing.

Recently, when asked who I will vote for, I have been sending people (both Japanese and otherwise) to this website: http://www.mercerforpresident2008.com/home.html
Finally, a candidate I can honestly endorse! His website alone has provided me with countless more hours of entertainment and brain work than anything any other candidate thus far has put forth. I must, though, give credit for this wonderful discovery to my friend Golden Wade Powell. Thank you, Wade, thank you. And to all of you out there, Northern Tohoku Exposure recommends that you take the time to fully peruse Mr. Mercer's website. In particular, sections 1, 14, 17, 20, 22, 27, 29, 35, 46, 48, 49, 56, 63, 66, and 69 are full of golden nuggets of inspiration. Enjoy!

Drawing the Line (Strictness in the Classroom)

Warning: Due to adult language in the following post, reader discretion is advised.

One thing that has puzzled me since my arrival in Japan is the varying degrees of strictness shown in the classroom. Generally speaking, teachers do not put up with much guff from their students and are quick to scold, yell, or even slap upside the head students who talk out of turn or refuse to do as they're told. Corporal punishment is still very much alive here in Japan, although a recent outbreak of parents campaigning against teachers and the very education system itself is slowly putting a stop to that.

Conversely, though, teachers here seem to have no problem with children swearing in class. At first I thought that maybe my concept acceptable language just differed fundamentally with that of the rest of the teachers, which is fine, but it just seemed a bit odd for students be able to yell the Japanese equivalents of things like "son of a bitch" or "shut up" or even "shit" in the classroom.

The prime example of this profound difference came to me several weeks ago. During a Junior High lesson much like every other (read: I was doing nothing but reading flashcards) the teacher decided to let the kids play a game known as Renso, translated literally as "connected images." The premise of the game is simple enough; kids split into teams and, using a single word of my choosing, must take turns running up to the board and writing a word that is connected in some way to the previous word forming chain of thought, if you will. The word I choose was "tree." Innocent enough, right? Wrong. The first group ended with 8 points, making a chain that went something along the lines of "leaf, plant, bird, bug, sun, sunday, picnic, cake." A real cute, sweet little word chain. Group 4, however, took a decidedly different approach. Consisting mostly of basketball boys, their list was as follows:

tree
wood

house
bed
sex
sexy
enjoy
tired
sports
sex
sexy
baby sex

Though taking first place easily with a whopping 10 points (I refused to count "sex" and "sexy" twice), I immediately feared for the lives of these poor kids. Their teacher, an unusually harsh older lady, simply asked how they got from bed to sex and then, apparently satisfied with the answer, gave them all gold stars. Gold stars!! For writing what amounted to an amateur, albeit grammatically barren, erotic story on the board!

Personally, I got quite a kick out of it. That said, I was left to wonder what would have happened if this sort of stunt got pulled in my middle school. I imagine it would have been something to the extent of an hour of detention for each "obscene" word to be served consecutively on a day of the teacher's choosing. Hello Breakfast Club. Ultimately I realized that, given the choice and my propensity for cursing like a pirate and talking out of turn as a child, I would much rather have gone to school in strict, rigid, old-fashioned Japan.