So You Want to Read Comics...

Taking I break from my usual bitching and complaining about things here in the Far East, I'd like to offer my thoughts on a subject I am more than well versed in: comic books. By now it should be apparent to most every one that what was once considered the quintessential trait of nerds and the socially inept has now become embraced by the pop culture elite. The rapid influx of comic-to-film adaptions (and good ones, at that) has changed the way we comic geeks interact with the world. Gone are the days when knowing which issue Wolverine joined the X-Men (Giant Size X-Men #1) or the exact weight of Captain America's shield (12.2 lbs) was as surefire a sign of social ostracism as knowing the best way to serve Qagh. These days people with vast libraries worth of comic trivia knowledge like us a valued commodity, the go-to-guy for the real info and plot breakdown whenever the newest comic book film comes out. It has gotten to the point where I have, true story, been called at 3 AM my time from America to confirm for an intoxicated friend in a heated debate at party that the Weapon X Program does indeed not stand for the letter "x," but for the roman numeral X (the 10th of such attempts at recreating a super-soldier based on the original Captain America formula, FYI).

The point of this post is not to boast of the supreme levels of my nerdiness, but rather to offer something to all of you out there who are looking to join the cool crowd and start reading comics. I am often what I would recommend to someone who either wants to start reading comics, or just wants to make sure that what they read next isn't a waste of time. So without further adieu, I present my own "Must Read" list:

- Batman: The Long Halloween, and Batman: Dark Victory. Along with Batman: Year One, these two books by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale serve as the foundation for everything that was good about the two recent Batman films. Taken as a set, they give show what is easily the most human Batman interpretations of Batman ever while spinning a compelling mystery that keeps your guessing even after you've put it down.

- Y: The Last Man. In a word, the funniest and at the same time most moving comic series I have ever read. Centering on the mystery of a plague that instantaneously wipes out every organism on the planet Earth except for Yorick Brown and his pet monkey, Ampersand, this 60 issue maxi-series is something you owe it to yourself to read. No super-heroes, no powers, just believable characters and incredible writing.

- Watchmen. Often referred to as "the best graphic novel of all-time," it is a super-hero story without any real super-heroes. I'm sure you will all go see the movie, so I won't say much more, but afterwards just do yourself a favor and read the book. If the ending doesn't make you think, then nothing will.

- Daredevil, vol 2. issues #16-19, 26-50, 56-81. In other words, everything that Brian Michael Bendis wrote. While Kevin Smith's "Guardian Devil" arc (vol 2. issues #1-8) and uber-writer Frank Miller's run are both considered to be classics, it's Bendis' that truly makes Matt Murdock something other than a half-assed Peter Parker and serves as an excellent jumping-off point for new readers. A perfectly gritty and flawed lead character, the darkly noir rendition of Hell's Kitchen, and a serialized nature that will hook you far quicker than most other Marvel or DC books, it's a great run for people who like their super-heroes a bit less spandexy and a bit more real.

- Powers. Both created and owned by the aforementioned Brian Michael Bendis, Powers is a bit of an industry anomaly. While set in a clearly super-hero filled world (hence the title), it's focus is on the regular cops that work the super-crime beat. If Law and Order: SVU and Detective Comics had a one night stand, the result would look a lot like this. It's as addictive as the former and as out there as the latter.

Most of these can be found in trade-paperback form or, for those who like to go the digital route, can be downloaded easily from teh interwebz. Enjoy.


Wil, do the children really understand

Miscellaneous

It occurred to me the other day that it's been almost a month since I last posted anything here. Everything has been so all over the place recently, it's been a bit difficult. I guess it would be better to say that my brain has been focused almost exclusively on one thing for the past month, so everything else has just seemed like random smatterings of drinking and ice cold weather. I am referring to, of course, the upcoming Japanese Language Proficiency Exam (日本語能力試験), which I will endeavor to lay the smack down upon this weekend. My afterthoughts and conjectures at how I did will be sure to follow, but until then I would like to discuss briefly a few things that have caught my what little attention I have to spare recently.

First, let me talk to you all about religion. I personally find religion very interesting, both in concept and in practice (one more so than the other). That said, there is a time and a place for it, neither of which are when I am naked covered in soap at a hot spring. If you absolutely must make pleasantries with another dude while you are both naked, the first thing out of your mouth should never be "Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness." In such an incident, the look you are seeing on my face probably has nothing to do with your choice of beliefs (well, maybe a little), but rather that you felt that this was the best time to bring them up TO A COMPLETE(ly naked) STRANGER. Really, little old Japanese man?

You know what? Now that I've gotten that out there I really don't think I have much else to say. Oh, I know! Did you know that there are over 20 different easily discernable species of apple? It was news to me, too, but check out this awesome gift set of crazy apples I received the other day!



This bird has flown, take two.

Expats: The Forgotten Demographic

No one will question the fact that Americans made history at the voting booths this past week. Now come the next big questions: How can the president-elect save the crumbling national, and thus world, economy? What will he do to fix the quagmire that has become the Iraq and Afghanistan wars? For most Americans the real effects of the election won't become apparent until sometime after January. A select group, however, could start seeing the benefits as soon as tomorrow. I am referring to, of course, American citizens living abroad.

What many people don't realize is the power that we expats have as a voting entity. Excluding military, an estimated 6.6 million Americans live overseas worldwide, according to the Association of Americans Resident Overseas. If they were regarded as an independent voting bloc, they would outnumber the population in 34 of the 50 states. But of course Americans overseas are considered residents of their most recent US home states for voting purposes. They represent still 2% of states' total votes on average - enough to make a difference in a swing state. So what happens when you get this many people fed up with the anti-Americanism brought on by the Bush years? A whole lot of people voting Obama.

The president is the face of America and as such is the standard by which most of us expats are judged right off the bat. Don't get me wrong; not every one is quick to assume that we, as Americans, support President Bush unconditionally. That said, anyone living abroad can tell you that having a president as universally disliked as Bush only fuels anti-American sentiment, which is something we outside North America have to deal with everyday. To us Obama's victory is an immediate blow to the image of Bush's America that so many people have clung to the past 8 years. Think about it this way: Since the election results came in a day ago, I have had no less than 15 people congratulate me. ME. You congratulate someone when they have done something noteworthy or accomplished something. I guess in their eyes we have, even though Obama hasn't even taken office yet. Oh, and if any of you are interested, Obama Hot Springs in Nagasaki is half-off admission all week.

I leave you with an image of unbridled patriotism.




Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing. Purple rain purple rain.

Blazer Believer

Those of you who know me know that I am many things; a gamer, a Japanophile, a greasy wop, an エセ外人, a powerhouse in the paint, an educator, etc. But chief amongst these things is without question "a Blazer fan." Now, I'm no sports writer, but still I feel compelled to say a few things.

First, yes I am pained greatly by the temporary loss of Greg Oden. Key word: TEMPORARY. However, it has done next to nothing in terms of damaging my hopes for the season. People seem to forget that this house was being built before he even stepped in the door. Even if Oden came in and performed to every one's expectations, it was still going to be Lamarcus' scoring that carries the team. As such, everyone just needs to take a breath, and wait a bit longer. That and pray we work on our fast break offense and defensive boards. That and Bust a Bucket.

Second, though a bit unrelated, I would like to address the so-called "fair weather fans." I use quotations here because I do not accept the validity of this term. It is inherently contradictory and thus invalid terminology. You see, a fan isn't someone who likes a certain team. A fan is someone who needs their team, and in return is needed by the team. Becoming a fan is strikingly similar to entering into a symbiotic relationship. While it is not for me to say which is the host, it is clearly a relationship of mutual reciprocation. A fan lives and dies with the ups and downs of his team. A fan will risk the sometimes-life-threatening repercussions of scorning a lover by choosing to watch the game rather than spend time with him/her. A fan has broken at least one of his own personal possessions as a result of his team's misfortunes (or at least seriously considered it). A fan shun and even refuse to acknowledge the existence of another human simply for being a fan of a rival team (read: Lakers fan).

A fan doesn't need to know stats or numbers, though. They simply need to have that love, that connection, with their team. So I ask you all: Are are you a fan, or are you just watching the game?



Bust a Bucket who'd a dunk it Blazer duty Super sunk it Slamn' Geez it Killer Three's it go up get got it good

A Mystery Unravelled

There's something about October that makes me want to fling money away like an angry monkey and his, well, you know. In one month alone I have purchased a car, a Playstation 3, and plenty of new software. All that aside, my most prized purchase has to be my new TV. 34 inches of high definition 1080i LCD glory. Though the pictures hardly do it justice, go ahead a take a gander. I've placed a standard DVD case in the picture to give some size perspective.



The real issue here, however, is not how great the device itself is but rather how much is cost: a mere $650 at the used electronics shop. I use the term "used" loosely, because as anyone who has lived in Japan a "used" item would pass for fresh off the factory line in America. A quick trip to Amazon.com shows that this guy's little brother, a 32 inch 720p LCD still goes for $800, or $670 slightly used. Though the riddle of why this particular unit was so cheap bothered me for several days, I had just about given in to the idea that it was just pure luck when the answer presented itself.

While talking to a coworker I mentioned in passing how great a deal I thought I had gotten, at which point she inquired as to the brand of the TV. "Samsung," I replied. "Sam-san? Your friend makes TVs?" Long story short, apparently Samsung doesn't carry the brand recognition here that it does in America. After asking around, I eventually figured it out. Remember earlier when I was describing the TV? Well, I left out one important adjective. What I should have said was: 34 inches of Korean high definition 1080i LCD glory. Yes, that's right. Who knew that the ethnicity of a TV set mattered? I mean, come on Japan, judging people by the color of their skin is one thing, but a TV? Are her images not just as crisp and vivid? If you prick her, does she not leak some form of liquid crystals? I was reminded of the time when my host-father told me that the reason no one eats at the Lotteria burger chain was "Because it's owned by Koreans." But really, who am I to complain? If Japanese industrial jingoism leads to me getting a dirt cheap, cutting edge TV for half the price of a Sony, what's wrong with that?



In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone too far.

Creative Differences

I'd like to briefly discuss an incident I had last week during one of my middle school classes. The activity of the day was the standard affair: The students were to listen to me dictate a description of a picture I was looking at and attempt to recreate it themselves. The picture was supposed to be of a young girl dressed as a cowboy swinging a rope in front of a house while her little puppy romps around playfully and her grandpa watches lazily from the porch (a bit Rockwellian, actually). Well, among the more creative entries was this beauty. I'm sure he must have had some other things going on in his head. Maybe he'd just seen Superbad one too many times. I really have nothing else to say, as no words can really do it justice. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then I'm pretty sure most of this one's aren't suitable for children. And without further ado, I present you, Yamato's magnum opus in all its glory.

I dub thee...Penisaurus Dix!

Public Transportation...Of DOOM

Readers worldwide (all 10 of you), I'm here today to inform you about the newest crime wave raging through Aomori and, more specifically, Sannohe. B&E, you ask? No sir. Fraud? Not really, but warmer. GTA? Getting there! The correct answer is: Illegal buses. As the image below clearly demonstrates with the two ferocious looking dinosaurs, black-busing (a term I came up with just now) is not to be taken lightly.



Though at first I was confused, I have hence come to see just what is meant by this and what is wrong with it. Essentially what happened is this: someone decided that he was tired of buses that only run once or twice an hour and are unreliable at best, and went ahead and started his own bus line without consulting the city. The nerve! Using unofficial, gaudy, state-of-the-art buses designed to stand out from the standard red and white wooden models the city uses, this black market public transportation has been deceiving citizens day after day while needlessly getting them to their destinations earlier and offering unsanctioned and preposterous convenience to bus-riders day in and day out. Can you imagine the horror of having your 45 minute wait for the bus cut short without notice and arriving at your destination long before intended? I don't know about you, but it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

But fear not, I have been assured that the authorities have the situation well in hand. To start, they are attempting to raise awareness by advertising for, I mean informing you of the danger of, these other buses with fliers posted in every single bus. They are also working on a method to spot and deal with these felonious cabbies. I understand it's going to be very high tech and require every branch of the local law enforcement to tackle it, but that's more than enough assurance to help me sleep sound at night. 2 bus companies in one town, bah. What's next, a second phone company?

Silver buses with giant pandas on top are a dead giveaway